


14: Holiday Celebrations

by LeosLust



Series: Wondrous Tails 2020 - SFW Edition [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Party, Crack, Dick Jokes, Drunk adults acting like drunk teens, It's tagged mature because, M/M, Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Named Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Post-Christmas Party Parties, Real-time Fandubs, Specific Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), drunk people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23743567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeosLust/pseuds/LeosLust
Summary: Crack that I swear I will somehow incorporate into my modern au canon... somehow
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light, Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light, Zephirin de Valhourdin/Warrior of Light
Series: Wondrous Tails 2020 - SFW Edition [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666339
Kudos: 6





	14: Holiday Celebrations

“Haurchy, I- *hic* -know you think it’d be fu- *hic* funny, but you DO realise how many of them are in there, right? *hic*” Kamui’s words were slurred, and his head nearly horizontal as he tried to finish speaking before Aymeric’s lips could find his own.

Speaking of Aymeric, he had lost all sense of decency and was currently making kissy noises as he draped himself across Kamui, doing his best to get the Raen’s full attention. 

Haurchefant jumped to his feet, much to the displeasure of Eres, who had been thoroughly attached to him. “I know how many of them are there! And I know that I can take them all on, right here, right now!” Haurchefant paused to flex and wink down at Eres, resulting in an absolutely  _ delighted _ cheer from the Seeker. 

"Go Haurchey go! Tell that ass what he is!" Eres yelled out as he punched at the air above his head - almost launching the bottle in his hand at the ceiling.

Before Kamui could plead otherwise, Haurchefant was out of their rented room and across the corridor to where the ‘choir boys’ had been allocated. And with Haurchefant no longer there to keep him focused, Kamui had little choice but to respond to his partner - whose hands were now tracing the scales on his chin as his lips tracked those on his neck.

In the meantime, Haurchefant had had the door to the choirs boys  _ own _ after party be opened by Adelphel - who looked perplexed but otherwise moved to allow Haurchefant in - only to have it slammed in his face by an even rowdier than usual Grinnaux. Haurchefant, however, was not to be deterred. He had to do this! For the sake of… Eres’ entertainment? Eh, Haurchefant shrugged before slamming the door open and looking around the room to find his target. It took him a while because Zephirin was almost entirely hidden behind a giddy, giggling, Gliommoux.

“I’ve come to make an announcement!” Haurchefant declared as he pointed at Zephirin, “Zephirin the Coward’s a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking boyfriend. That’s right, he took his elezen-fuckin’ skinny dick out and he pissed on my fucking boyfriend, and he said his dick was ‘this big,’ and I said ‘that’s disguting,’ so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Zephirin the Coward, you’ve got a small dick,” Haurchefant paused as he revealed a walnut from his pocket, stolen from a mixed-nut bowl from the Christmas party they has both attended not three hours earlier, “It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what here’s m-” 

“YOU ARE NOT SHOWING ANYONE YOUR DICK! THAT’S MINE!” Eres announced as he tackled Haurchefant to the ground, walnut being dropped in the process, and slowly rolling it’s way to Zephirin’s feet.

**Author's Note:**

> I DIED WHILE THINKING OF THIS I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM SO TAKE IT
> 
> also @ the word count: wasnt even trying for that but NICE
> 
> also in case you cant tell the 'choir boys' refers to the Heavens' Ward - it's not an official name, but a jokey one that HF uses


End file.
